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Boss with Benefits_An Office Romance Page 8
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“I’m not afraid of anything!” I exclaimed, affronted with the suggestion. “Why would you even suggest that?”
My grandmother reached across the table to pat me on the back of the hand lovingly. “Oh, honey. I’ve been around you for your entire life. Whenever something frightened you as a child, you tried to avoid it when you could. That followed you into your adult life as well.”
“I didn’t run away from Todd,” I pointed out dryly. “I should have though. I should have run for my life when I met him.”
“No argument there,” Nana said with a laugh. “Todd convinced you to trust him, so I think it’s fair to say you were blinded in that instance.”
Blinded. It was a very accurate word to describe my dynamic with Todd.
Thirteen years ago, Todd had convinced me that marriage was the only solution to the surprising news of the pregnancy. Not that it should have been that surprising. There was that one night Todd had insisted we wouldn’t get pregnant if he pulled out in time. I rolled my eyes at my naïve twenty-one-year-old self who had believed him.
Reality had set in after Christian was born. Todd’s naïve idea of being a parent wore off between the sleepless nights and the endless sea of colicky cries. A part of me had always half-expected it to happen. Todd had pulled away so quickly that he never gave me the proper time to process the idea that he was going to leave with another woman. One minute, our house had been cluttered with our shared possessions. In the next, it was empty aside from Christian’s things, plus a few of my own. The divorce papers came, soon followed by other papers giving up Todd’s parental rights to Christian. I didn’t fight any of it because, at that point, I was relieved to have him gone. Distance numbed the pain of everything, but raising Christian alone had isolated me from the rest of the world.
“Alisha, you are at the point where you can enjoy life a little bit,” she continued on with a smile. “No questions asked. You deserve a bit of happiness, too.”
Hot coffee scalded the back of my throat when I took a large gulp. The problem with happiness was that you had to risk your heart in the process. Accepting Seth’s proposal would make me happy. No doubt about that. He was right that neither of us had the time to carry on a normal relationship, but that was a problem. I wanted a normal relationship—something that Seth clearly was not interested in.
Monday morning, he would want an answer the second I stepped into the office, and I still had no idea what I was going to say.
Chapter 13
Seth
The weekend passed in pure agony while I waited for Monday morning to finally roll around. I spent it pacing in my home office while I poured over another disclosure, a less complicated file that didn’t need an extra set of eyes. It was still tempting to call Alisha to tell her I needed help with this disclosure over the weekend, but I didn’t want to disrupt her home life any more than I apparently already had.
Frustration simmered in me on the usual pathway to work on a chilly and rainy Monday morning. Dark clouds gathered above the buildings, only to release a steady downpour of cold rain. I barely made it to the lobby before the rain increased from a small drizzle to a steady downpour. The entire city seemed to be sluggish and slow to start. Not me. I needed a fucking answer before I exploded from the inside.
I took a warm shower in the office suite to chase away the cold lingering on my skin from the rain. It was close to eight o’clock when I stepped out, dressed in a warm suit, only to find the office still empty. I sipped my coffee in anticipation while the minutes ticked down.
“Mr. Jackson?”
“Yes?” I turned to face Jill Collins, my head of Human Resources, in the doorway of my office, and forced a smile on my face. “What is it, Jill?”
The older woman looked nervous as she stepped inside, wringing her hands in a ball in front of her. A small bubble of dread clouded the anticipation inside of me.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I have to speak with you in private,” she said. “It’s something that I think you need to be made aware of through me.”
“Right,” I said, frowning. “Come in then. Shut the door if you need privacy.”
Jill shut the door behind her securely before turning to face me again. “I wanted to talk to you before Alisha Townsend comes in, since it involves her.”
“How so?”
“Well, there are things being said about her that might not be flattering to either one of you. Another employee brought these particular comments to my attention.”
“What sort of comments?” I asked stiffly.
“That there is only one reason why you brought Alisha Townsend into this office,” Jill said, visibly uncomfortable with the conversation. “A few staff members believe it’s unfair that you are letting her handle this disclosure since it is so important. She spends an awful amount of time in here with the doors closed, and that doesn’t seem to help your case either.”
I rubbed my eyes in aggravation. It didn’t surprise me that these types of comments were going around about Alisha working in the privacy of my office all the time. I had expected it really since I had never brought anyone into my office to work before.
“I’m just letting you know that these comments are occurring,” Jill said. “It didn’t feel right to keep it to myself, and I didn’t want Alisha to hear about these comments either. I know it would bother her terribly.”
“Yes, I know. She would be hurt and upset; there is no doubt.”
The doors to my office opened, and Alisha stepped inside the office. She wore a long black skirt that hugged her slender hips perfectly and a white blouse that also fitted her bust. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a simple braid. Everything about her screamed untouched innocence, but I knew that was far from the truth. Her lips had been experienced when they kissed me back.
She stopped in surprise to find Jill standing in the office with me. “Morning, Jill. How was your weekend?”
“Oh, it was uneventful as usual,” Jill responded with a forced smile. “Well, I’ll let you two get to work. I just wanted to let you know, Mr. Jackson.”
“Thank you,” I said, nodding curtly. “Let me know if there is anything else that needs my attention, Jill. Appreciate it.”
“What’s going on?” Alisha asked once Jill closed the doors. “It seemed like everyone was in a weird mood out there. Did something bad happen?”
I didn’t have the heart to tell Alisha the truth because I knew it would hurt her. But I also had selfish reasons. Fuck what everyone else in the office thought. I had brought Alisha on to this project because she was damn good at her job. Being attracted to her in every sense was just a perk in my opinion.
“Nothing,” I said. “Nothing is going on.”
Alisha gave me a strange look. Shrugging out of her raincoat, she hung it on the back of her chair. I shoved my hands deep into my pants pockets to keep them from reaching out to touch her. My cock hardened in response to the floral scented perfume she wore as it filled my lungs pleasantly. It took all my self-control to keep from gathering her back into my arms like I had on Friday night. Everything about that night had felt right, and I felt confident that the kissing had won her over. She surely didn’t miss the spark of lust between the two of us.
“We have a meeting in ten minutes,” Alisha said, glancing up at the clock. “Do you want me to use the PowerPoint I created the other day?”
I glanced at my wristwatch with an inward sigh. I had completely forgotten about the meeting at eight-fifteen that was bound to take up at least a few hours of our morning if not all of it.
“Yes,” I said. “Bring the computer. That PowerPoint is the best tool we have right now for this meeting.”
Without another word, Alisha gathered everything up with no mention of our Friday night together. We were back to pretending there was no tension between the two of us. I gritted my teeth in irritation because this was what I had proposed in the first place. Work always came first before anything—even if I w
anted a fucking answer from her.
Over the next couple hours, I watched Alisha give her presentation to a few possible investors seeking to take a bite of Jackson Finance. I spoke very little besides adding a few extra points when I felt the need to, but it gave me the opportunity to study every inch of Alisha as she worked flawlessly to win these investors over. This was what I wanted to show everyone in the office to quell those damn rumors. It didn’t start out as the arrangement I now hoped for. Alisha could easily run circles around me some days when it came to both of our jobs.
There were other reasons that I wanted Alisha near me throughout the day. I enjoyed her company, for one. It was nice to have someone who enjoyed work, but also attempted to have a normal conversation. Neither one of us had time for relationships. I had needs. Alisha had needs.
My eyes skimmed the luscious curve of Alisha’s backside when she turned to point up to the projector screen to emphasize something there. Fuck. Everything about her screamed suppressed sensuality. I had felt it in the way she kissed me back just as passionately. There were years of untapped passion flowing throughout her veins. I wanted to tap into it while I could.
The only problem I faced at the moment was the talk around the office. I rubbed my face with a frown while I twisted around in my chair to look through the conference door. The entire office was busy, as was expected on a Monday morning. I had no idea who had come to Jill about those comments, but there was a list of people in my head that I needed to keep a close eye on. It was my company. I didn’t care much for what others said about me. After divorcing McKenzie, the rumors and lies had spread to the tabloids in Boston. Cameras chased me for weeks to look for a scandal that didn’t exist, so they created their own headlines.
It’s a real thing this time. You want to fuck your employee whenever you want—even on the clock if you desire it.
I did desire it. Badly. It took every shred of my sanity to keep my arousal under control in front of this group of investors who turned to look at me with impressed smiles. I nodded at Alisha who looked equally relieved to be done talking as she took a seat at the edge of the conference table. She slowly closed her computer while I took hold of the conversation for the next ten minutes. Once the investors promised to send their paperwork, I smiled down the table at Alisha, who didn’t return the smile. She kept her eyes focused on the conference table with a small frown tugging at her lips.
“Good job,” I said. “I think we have a whole new group of investors taking a bite here because of you.”
“It’s my job,” Alisha said quietly. “Is there anything else that we need to do before tackling the rest of this disclosure? The deadline is coming up fast.”
“Nothing else for the rest of the morning and afternoon,” I replied, unsure of her withdrawn behavior. “Shall we talk in my office about what is bothering you?”
Alisha glanced up at me sharply. “Nothing is bothering me. Why would you ask that?”
“Because you look like you’re on death row,” I remarked wryly. “I was just asking a concerned question is all. Let’s get back to my office to get to work.”
I waited patiently for Alisha to gather her computer before following her out of the conference room. She breezed by me with her computer tucked close to her chest. That soft floral smell filled my lungs again when she passed by.
Unable to wait any longer, I closed the doors to my office the second we were both inside. I started in Alisha’s direction but stopped short when she held up her hand to stop me.
“Don’t,” she said. “I’ve thought about what you were offering over the weekend.”
“And?” I inquired, trying to read the guarded expression on her face. There were no emotions to read in Alisha’s normally vibrant green eyes.
She sucked in a deep breath while setting her computer down on the desk. “The answer is no, Seth. We can’t do this.”
Those words felt like a sucker punch in my stomach. They hit hard and deep in my gut. I stared at Alisha in disbelief as she looked away to avoid my gaze.
“Why?” I asked. “What are your reasons?”
“It wouldn’t be appropriate for starters,” Alisha said. “What if someone found out here in the office? Both our reputations would be shattered. I have a child and an elderly grandmother who need me at home at the end of the day. I can’t risk losing my income either if things went sour between the two of us over it.”
“I wouldn’t fire you if it did,” I said assuredly. “None of this is tied to your job.”
“It is though. We work together all day, every day. We’ve worked together for years.” Alisha shook her head at me sadly. “I can’t do it, Seth. Not to say I wasn’t sorely tempted to tell you yes. It’s just too much for me. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with this sort of thing when my son is going through horrible things at school. My life is completely hectic outside of this office, in case you didn’t notice.”
There was no convincing her otherwise. I could see it in Alisha’s eyes when she took a seat at her desk to keep her back turned towards me. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to carry on with the arrangement. She just didn’t have the time for it. For me, of all things. Bitterness swirled in my stomach. For years, I had given the same excuse to anyone who wanted something more. I knew what it tasted like now. It didn’t taste good at all.
Chapter 14
Alisha
Coldness greeted me the following morning. It had nothing to do with the drop in temperature outside or the first slushy rain of the season. Dark clouds swirled above Boston as a late fall storm lingered over the city. The stormy and dark weather fit perfectly since it matched Seth’s mood perfectly since the previous afternoon.
“This is going to suck today,” Christian moaned, glancing up at the dark skies through the kitchen window. “They’ll still probably make us run around outside for gym.”
He scooped up another spoonful of cereal as I tapped a finger absently against the side of my coffee mug. Dread filled my stomach thinking about work in an hour.
“It is going to suck,” I said in agreement. “I doubt that you’ll have to run outside when it’s snowing.”
Christian rolled his eyes at me. “Shows what you know, Mom. Our gym teacher doesn’t care if it is below zero out. He’ll make us run laps outside anyway.”
“You know,” I started, scooping up his empty bowl to place it in the sink, “there are kids in Russia who sit in warm saunas before heading out into negative temperatures. It prevents them from getting sick.”
“I’d rather catch a cold than do something like that,” Christian said. “Why is it going to suck for you today?”
I sprayed out the cereal bowl before twisting the faucet off. “It’s just going to be a day is all. Let’s get your backpack, and go say goodbye to your Nana, too.”
He left wordlessly to gather his backpack from near the front door. I dumped the rest of my coffee into the sink with a reluctant sigh. I didn’t know what type of attitude Seth was going to have today, but I imagined it wouldn’t be a friendly one. Just like yesterday when he had gone from hot to cold within a matter of seconds when I gave him the reasons why consummating a purely sexual relationship wouldn’t work for either one of us.
It had been incredibly tempting though to think about allowing myself this bit of selfish pleasure. Seth’s kisses had rocked me to the core in the best way possible. My defenses had crumbled quickly that night when he had kissed me in the SUV, which was the exact reason I knew I had to tell Seth no. He wanted us to remain commitment-free and professional at the end of it all. I didn’t have faith in myself to keep professional. Not after watching Todd walk away from Christian and me to start another family without batting an eyelash.
I found my grandmother seated in her usual spot near the television with a cup of coffee in her hand as she scanned the newspaper. I pressed a quick kiss to her powdery cheek before hollering up at Christian while he stomped around his room.
“I’ll b
e back around five or so,” I said. “Will you be able to pick up Christian from school or—”
She waved my question away with a dainty flick of her frail wrist. “Oh, don’t you worry so much about it. I’ll be there to pick him up after school.”
“Thanks, Nana. Call me if you need anything.”
I gathered my purse and car keys from the table next to the front door, then turned to watch Christian bound down the stairs two at a time with the hood of his rain jacket pulled up over his head. He slipped on his backpack while I pulled on a pair of heels before sliding into my own rain jacket.
We dashed out through the front door to the car. It wasn’t until we were five minutes away from school that Christian turned to look at me with a guilty expression.
“I have to tell you something,” he said. “I was told not to tell you, but I can’t keep a secret from you.”
My heart skipped at those words. I turned the radio down all the way so that the whir of the windshield wipers and patter of rain filled the car instead.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Dad has been emailing me for the past week,” he said. “We didn’t want to tell you because we knew you’d be upset, but I didn’t want to keep it from you any longer.”
“You’ve been emailing your father?” I repeated in disbelief. “Christian, why didn’t you say something to me about this?”
“I-I just wanted someone to talk to about what was going on at school. He said that I could email him whenever I needed something.”
It didn’t escape my notice that it was only email. Christian couldn’t call the house because it would disrupt Todd’s other life and family. My fingers clutched the steering wheel tightly as I pulled into the drop off lane in front of the school.
“I hope he gave you advice,” I said through clenched teeth, forcing a smile on my face. “That’s what your father is there for.”
“Sort of,” Christian said. He unbuckled himself before opening the car door. “Don’t worry, Mom. I know he’s a piece of shit, but he’s still my dad.”